You’re not that charming anymore. Your weight is heavy as Goliath’s helicopter. The fact that you are eight months pregnant, trying not to go under depression because of the douche bag who left you and your daughter, I guess there’s really a lot of weight going on.
But let me tell you this, in a month you are going to turn 23. I know it’s just a number and maybe you are too young to experience all of the shit hell has put you through yet this kind of shit has to happen because there is no other way of learning but through experience. It was based from all your choices. Every result was based from your decision so stop complaining. You just have to choose between two options, be happy or be depressed.
In a month, you are going to give birth already. You will be giving birth to a beautiful, smart and talented baby girl. She will light up your life. She will be the sun shining in your heart. She will be the star connecting the dots that will make every shooting star afloat. She will be the reason your life is going to change. And we’re not just talking about breastfeeding and late night lullabies, we’re talking about responsibilities and priorities.
In a year, you are going to have the best nights of your life. You will be going out of town, drinking with friends, drunk singing in karaokes and you will have your dream job. You will have the best summer of your 20s. You will have the best dinner with the theme of the 50s. You will run around the hood in your denims. You will continue serving others with a heart full of passion and dreams.
In three years, you will break loose in ending a very dark chapter of your life. You will be telling yourself that you are not ready for a relationship. You will be reminding yourself that you will focus on your loved ones and traveling. You will tell yourself that you should rest your heart because it’s a risk you have to take to be complete again. You will tell yourself that you will fix yourself.
In three years and 2 months, you will meet someone. He may not have the personality you wished for. He may not be someone whose situation will be perfect. He may not be as complete as you expect Mr. Right to be, but guess what, he simply is – who he is. He will do a lot of things you wanted ever since without you telling it. He will surprise you because no one ever did. He will give you flowers because no one ever did. He will sing endless songs to you because no one ever did. He will put his words into actions and actions into words because no one ever did. He will love you more than you love him. He will love you, even if you have a daughter because remember the moment you when you gave birth? You closed your heart knowing that no one will ever love you anymore because you have a kid. But he did. He will love you because that’s all he can ever do and knows how to do it. He will love you even if you haven’t completely fixed yourself because that’s what he wants. He is willing to take all the shit you have and help you fix it, together. Grow together, love each other more and have a family together.
So stop crying. Everything takes time. Everything needs patience. Everything will not turn out exactly the way you want it to be but rest assured, in God’s time everything will fall into place. God knows what you want but He won’t give everything what you want. He will give you what is for you and what He knows best. Not everything will be quintessential.
That’s why He gave you a supportive family all throughout this journey.
That’s why He gave you loving and trusted friends to just enjoy the ride.
That’s why He gave you a partner who has shortcomings but is willing to fix himself for the both of you and for the rest of the world.
That’s why He gave you a child who will be the reason why in three years, you are still choosing the option to continue happiness in all aspects.
So I hope you get it. Everything you are going through is a process. And everything is worth the wait.
Again, patience my dear.
Your 25-Year-Old Self