I remember the pleasant sound of my grade school years when all we do is to play Counter Strike every Friday after school.
“Fire in the hole!”
“Go go go sago!”
I was so addicted to shooting games. Now I know why DotA wasn’t appealing for me. I’ve always liked ammos, snipers and blood drenched over a man’s body.
The sound of a reloading gun. The sound of it cocked and pulled. The sound of a person who got shot.
In addition, (subtraction, multiplication and division), I’ve always loved military movies. Actions like Steven Segal? Nope, not that. I’m more of the SEAL vibe. That’s why I’ve always liked swimming and Heidi Klum. When I watch documentaries, I always search for the different kinds of military trainings in Japan, US, China, etc.
Sometimes I ask myself, why am I so into guns? (Maybe because it rhymes with nuns and I am so into that kind of behavior). Kidding aside, if I would research myself why, I really don’t know. Maybe in my past life, I was a criminal. Maybe in my past life, I was suicidal. Maybe in my past life, I was really part of the army. Or maybe, there is just pleasure when you shoot people.
But don’t be alarmed, this is only a virtual feeling. I have no intentions killing anyone using a gun. If I did want to kill anyone, I’d hang them upside down with flames burning beneath them. Again, a virtual feeling 😇
I’ve held a real gun because my dad owned one years ago. I think I was still in grade school. Never got the chance to use it, of course.
Back when I was a freshman in college, I wanted to try Airsoft but all that seemed to happen was being an airhead. I didn’t have the luxury to make it a hobby even if my uniform was already in the works.
Another weird thing, whenever we have a discussion in any group (especially when drunk), and the topic is death. “So, how do you want to die?”
Answers would be by an illness, in their sleep, an accident (so they won’t feel anything) bla yadda…
My answer is always, “I want to be shot.”
They call me weird. But to me, it isn’t weird. Yes, I want to be shot but for the right reasons.
All I wanted was to be shot because I was saving another person’s life. I am not fucking kidding. I am not saving their ass for the sake of my ass. It’s just basically how I like to end my life. I didn’t have the perfect life, I am not a good person (and I never wanted to be complimented being a good person) but I want it to end in a very meaningful way.
So for the record, just because I play these violent games, doesn’t mean I’m a totally bad person.
The deal with human beings sometimes, what they assume and perceive is the raw data of a person’s outlook in life and from there, that’s how they understand things. Personal “rightful” judgment.
That’s a mission everyone should abort to. That’s the type of mentality they have to kill.
Sabi nga ng Rage Against the Machine,