Forget Me Knot

I rushed to the toilet and bath around 11PM last night, twice with an interval of 30-40 minutes, I thought there was something down below bleeding (yes, uhm that part).

Nope, I did not cut myself down there wtf.

Nope, I wasn’t feeling nauseous and no chance that I’m pregnant.

Nope, not a miscarriage.

Nope, not having my period yet.

Source: Google

My suture and my abdomen was pricking again. Good thing there was no blood. When I felt like peeing, I was really expecting blood from internal and external parts of my body. It has been 2 years and 6 months since my physician tied the knot literally to me hehe and it still aches like shit.

First cause, laundry. My mom and I do the laundry every other week or sometimes during Sunday mornings. Yep, our washing machine is broken that’s why we do it manually and when I say manually – all the bedsheets, jeans, you name it. I’ve been doing this for a couple of months now and I cannot NOT do it since I don’t want my momma doing all the laundry and I really like chores that have water with it. 

Second cause, tricycle. If I don’t bring the car, I commute so with all the fucked up humps and roads in BF and I still don’t know why it hasn’t been fixed the fact that we pay a certain amount of a kinda village fee, and whenever the tricycle driver drives like a monster, I’m going to be dead.

Third cause, walking too fast. I really don’t want to be late but there are times that even when I leave the house early, it will take a lot of time waiting for a tricycle right in front of the house so I walk out of the village just to wait for one.

Fourth cause, other strenuous activities that needs to be confidential. Uhm, I don’t need any explanation here. HAHAHAHA *covering my face because of humiliation* why did I even write this part

So before I explain to you the effect that I’ve been experiencing for the past days, let me show you images same as my operation (but mine was vertically done) and close to what my tumtum looks like:

Source: Google

 

Source: Google

Saklap diba?

Well, for my 25 years of living I can only count the times I’ve been in the hospital. Maybe around 5-6? Just because of the consultations, etc. But to be admitted, nope.

Before I got pregnant and before I even felt I was going to get pregnant, I kept on thinking why was I never admitted in a hospital due to any illness because sometimes I feel like I’m healthy or I just don’t really like consulting physicians and I don’t want to spend money just to consult when I really think I’m healthy.

So anyway, I am not afraid of blood or even needles that’s why when I had my c-section, I was so game. I really could not bear the contractions anymore (I was also diluted and I did not have any epidural), so I was rushed to the hospital coming from lying-in when they really don’t allow your first delivery in lying-ins but they did, and voila, emergency CS.

I was injected 8 times at the back by the anesthesiologist. Eight, not bad. I told him if I could have more so I won’t feel the contractions. I can bear the pain of needles but not the contractions.

THE EFFECT OF MY RECENT PAIN

It really fucking hurts.

Last night, I could not sit properly I could not even take a shit properly. I had to go to the loo back and forth and slowly push my stomach for my shit to be pushed down but since I have sutures, I’m really having a hard time with my bowel movement ever since I was a kid I’ve been having problems with my bowel but it became worse after my operation.

It’s actually my fault too because I don’t wear my girdle biddie bye bye don’t tell a lie anymore. It’s just there in my closet, hanging out with the rest of my undies.

What hurts more is I don’t remember almost anything anymore. :(

I think I gotta choose who I want to be below:

 

I was a big fan of Pokemon and now I don’t remember anything whenever my friends talk about it. Yes, sure I still somehow memorize the rap and the chant of Team Rocket but not all of the Pokemons anymore :( I don’t remember vividly events during my college days until the present. Some are important events, some are not though it’s still saddens me. Whenever my friends talk about a certain episode during our college days, I just want to cover my ears and shoot my brain cells. What I remember mostly is during kinder until high school. The only bittersweet here is I remember my heart breaks. Why can’t the heart forget? Luh landi hahahaha

Ah basta, hindi na ako magaling makaalala tulad ng dati. Ang dami ko pang gustong sabihin ng mga bagay na hindi ko na maalala pero hahaba lang ito.

Pero wag kang magalala special person, lahat ng pinaguusapan natin ay naalala ko well sana hihihi ipaalala mo nalang sa akin, at salamat sa pagpapaalala na parati maging masaya luh landiiiii

So please take care of your memory, in loving memory of me. Hahaha!

And this post has actually been figuratively “healthy” for your eyes, I’ll end it now.

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19 thoughts on “Forget Me Knot

  1. Besh, pa-check mo ulit tiyan mo. At alam ba ng dok even before operation na may problem ka na with your bowel movement? Kung hindi pa, i-mention mo na rin yan pati yung paglala niya after ng surgery mo. Hindi normal yan. Baka lumalala pa kung hindi mo ipa-check. Mas malaking gastos girl.

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    1. Thank you besh!! :’) hindi talaga ako pumupunta ng hospital eh hahaha gastos lang! charing. Pero magcoconsult na talaga ako, sayang Maxicare keme ko dito sa work hahaha. Tama ka. Gusto ko yang point mo na mas malaki gastos. Ooperahan nanaman ako.

      Pero paano tong bara sa puso ko? Charaaaauuughhhht

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      1. Mahirap ang buhay ngayon besh. Sa pagiging pasaway ko ng halos 10 taon eh alam mo bang napagastos ako ng malaki sa tuhod ko (hindi ko naman kailangang maoperahan pero maaga akong magkaka-osteoarthritis).

        Anyway, ako pa tinanong mo. Hindi ko nga maayos puso ko hahahaha. Pero sabi ng officemate ko na lalake (may stress debriefing kami kaninang lunch, crayola ang lola mo habang kumakain lol), “Meron ring darating na tamang tao para sayo, at sayo iikot ang mundo niya.”

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ano yung osteoarthritis? Nasobrahan sa pagkain ng ostiya? Charaught. Awww pero kamusta naman tuhod mo ngayon besh?

        Hahahaha! Okay lang yan. Masaya magmahal :) agree sa sinabi niya!! When something ends, something great begins. Trust me ;) kakagaling ko lang sa break up last month and totoo yan. Pero ayusin mo muna sarili mo, kapag naayos mo na dadating na talaga sya :)

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  2. Hahaha. Kamag-anak ng rayuma besh! Except ang dahilan kasi ng rayuma ay dahil sa tinopak ang immune system mo at inaatake niya ang mga joints kaya nagkakaroon ng pain at inflammation. Usually tinatamaan nito yung mga joints na maliliit gaya ng daliri at wrists. Sa osteoarthritis naman, ang dahilan ay yung cartilage ng joint nasisira over time, “wear and tear” kumbaga. Ang madalas natatamaan dito yung mga malalaking joints na nagbebear ng weight gaya ng tuhod at balakang. Eto medyo umookay na pero hindi pa ako makapaglakad, takbo, o akyat ng matagal. Takbo-akyat-takbo kasi ginawa ko sa unang pag-move on ko sa kanya haha, tuhod ko ang nagbayad lol. Pero actually matagal-tagal ko na rin nararamdaman yung sakit sa tuhod, high school pa. Matagal kasing nakatayo o malayo yung nilalakad, tapos mabigat pa dala.

    Happy naman ako sa buhay ko besh pero alam mo yun, para siyang icing sa ibabaw ng cupcake ko – pampadagdag saya lol. Hayyy. Tuluy-tuloy na sana ang pagiging okay ng tuhod ko at makabalik na rin ako sa pagtakbo-biyahe-akyat. Nakakaloka dito sa Maynila girl, hindi maganda environment pang-move on chos.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bakit? Lagi ka kumakain ng mga maaalat at matatataba noh? Shet medical terms, tagalog pa. Charing. Wag ka nalang tumakbo, pero paano kapag hinabol ka niya? Acheche! Hahaha!

      Magiging okay ka trust me. Pagtatawanan mo lang yang experience mo in the future ;) labas ka lang with friends at makipagdate ka! Go go go rampa!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahaha medical kasi kami sarreh! (pero mahirap talaga mag-explain sa Tagalog na simple pa, pramis).

        Hirap po ako lumandi haha. Please teach me master!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Nurse ako by profession, pero development work ngayon, sa isang NGO. Related naman sa health :) Actually, maternal, newborn and child health ang hawak ko (kasama na dito ang sexual and reproductive health, at teenage pregnancies).

    Ngayon? Wala haha. Or hindi ko lang napapansin kasi busy-busyhan sa work hahaha. Sabi nung isang officemate ko hindi ko raw napapansin na may nagpapa-cute sa akin na staff ng DRR program lol (ewan ko baka jinojoke time niya lang ako) – katabi ko kasi yung program coordinator so may pumupuntang staff.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Isa kang alamat! Hehe. So libre ako mag-consult sayo? Joke lang. Kaya pala ang dami mong alam sa mga anek anek!!! Parang mas kailangan ko ng tulong sa sexual eklavoo. Chos.

      Hiningi na ba nya number mo? 😆

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      1. Haha sureness :)) Theoretically marami akong alam, pero ako naman yung walang experience kasi semplang sa implementation hahaha

        Hindi. So baka ini-echos lang talaga ako ng officemate ko haha.

        Liked by 1 person

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